Time Immemorial

Weirdly enough, the two people are behaving exactly as i expected them to, but whether they are spiting me or following along with my post or i predicted it well or its just a coincidence, doesn't really matter. I sit here as passively as i can yet you go all out to ruin my name, to try to wreck me. You twist the most malleable of people around you, knowing the thrall you hold over their eager minds. But that matters not, for if people can be turned against me by you they can and would have been turned against me by anyone else. This little race, this scuffle, is just getting started and its intriguing to guess what'll happen next.

Anyhow, congratulations to String Ensemble for Gold with honours and Harmonica and Guitar ensemble for Gold in the Singapore Youth Festival. While the latter two didnt achieve "honours" you still got gold so be proud to have done Victoria proud. Choir, dance and band will probably be performing soon so good luck to you guys too, do us proud!

Just a while ago, the VJC softball guys won TPJC 19-0 (according to Qichao) and even as i type the girls are facing off against the TP girls team with a 15-0 lead by the end of second inning, SJ got a homerun too, good job! While its a comfortable lead the games not over and "anything can happen", to quote various people. Of course, Edmund says they're "winning" so that'll most probably be the outcome given his trained eye.

It almost feels like a rigged match for the guys before the big game against RJC, the defending champions for who-knows-how-long. A game to make the players feel like they could take on the world, to give them the confidence to take RJ down, And as long as the weather stays bright and sunny, i think they just might.

It feels like yesterday that i threw my first softball, that i caught my first softball, it feels like yesterday that Park was telling me all about his excellent academics on our first meeting, it feels like yesterday that we sang the school anthem together as a team for the first time, it feels like just yesterday Park's pitching speed drastically jumped, it feels like yesterday that i first caught Yuanhong's unfamiliar pitch, it feels like yesterday that i was awed at Wayne's outfield skills, at Edmund's batting skill. It feels like i got hit just yesterday. The nostalgia of this past life rushes back in waves of memories happy and sad, in gushes of emotion and experience. The time we'd spent together, the time we had trained together may amount to nothing in the field on Friday, but it means worlds to me for these memories are all i can cherish from my time with you people.

The training that you guys have undergone has been irregular and arduous, you all have sacrificed studies or play or cca or all, just to train, to improve yourself, to just play. You have worked blisters onto your fingers and bruises on your body to gain a fighting chance at taking home that coveted title growing cobwebs in RJ's cabinet. On Friday comes the biggest game yet, and prepared or not you have to face it, for this one obstacle is the biggest block standing between you and that trophy and if/when you scale this huge wall, the jump to the title over the other blocks will so much easier, so much shorter.

So play for me, if not for yourself. Play for the school, if not for anyone. Play for the team, for the team plays for you. Play like its your last game, give your all and perform your very best for if you don't, the regret will wash over you for a long, long time. To quote William Hung: "I have done my best and i have no regrets". As much of a joke he was, these words ring true for if you give your all, your blood and bone, you'll never have regrets, win or lose. And whether you bring back the trophy or not, your deeds will be inscribed forever in minds and hearts, for time immemorial.

So hold your heads up, boys, for this is the time of your lives, your chance for glory.

fight like you'll never fight again

a tour to damnation

Today (well actually yesterday considering the time) was a bad day. It started with me spilling coffee all over my pants, which was actually not too bad considering the colour kind of blends in. However it only went downhill from there, i warn that this will probably be a long, aggressive, expletive-filled post so if that doesn't fill your bowl, find another cereal box.

I must say that i am quite confused at my own actions at times. I know there are people who dislike me for some reason or another, probably they can't get over a certain offense i commited against them, or maybe they just don't like my attitude. Yet when you are injured and down i still care, i honestly wished you a speedy recovery, a quick return to your training, safety and success - even though i knew you wouldn't appreciate it one bit. After all at least you had the courtesy to pretend to be grateful to smile and joke and talk to me, keeping up some pretense of friendship of some kind. I do not even mind that you talk shit about me behind my back, that you cut me down whenever i turn my back, thinking me a fool.

When you start talking fucking nonsense about my friend though, i can't forgive that. It doesn't matter that you hate me, that you want to screw me up and torment me, i can ignore you for you are nothing more than a childish fool. But when you utilise the influence that you know you possess to mislead others and spin stories to them in all seriousness and the air of professionalism such that they believe your words and follow your views, merely to push an inexistent blame away from an institution you clamp onto, I cannot help but feel angry. I was pissed beyond belief and at that moment i wanted to simply rip your jaw off with a simple downward whipping action.

You sit with the impression that you can't be affected, you portray an image of untouchability, of coolness and yet deep inside you know it is only due to your insecurities, your failures and your guilt. You hide your true face behind a mask of lies so intricate that you are probably lost in its midst, lying to yourself unknowingly. Your words cannot be trusted, your motives left unknown, like an enigma you pass life as though you were detached, from another plane yet i know, i see when you are agitated, when you fear and panic and get annoyed.

Perhaps you are reading this post, most likely you might know its you and to be honest i don't give a fuck anymore. I know how you like to malign me and i now encourage you to continue, it leaves true friends behind. In the past i chose a policy of ignoring your taunts, your mockery like a clueless fool but now i've seen enough shit from you. You went a line too far and now i'll fuck your life up. I know your dreams i know how fragile they are and i know the many many ways they can crumble up.

Oh i will ruin you, i'll make you despair and tear your eyes out in futility, asking, screaming for an answer to why, to who did this to you. And i will be there to comfort you with jagged smiles, to pat your head with taloned hands, to support you and bring you back up to your feet just so i can fucking break them one more time and see you descend into oblivion. It may take days, weeks, years, even decades before you and all that you cherish withers in decay but it will not be even a days distraction, much less my life goal, to screw your miserable dreamworld up. You aren't even worth the effort, instead subconsciously all my words will become laced with elements to lead to your destruction. Oh i won't touch a single hair on you, i'll let you rip the bloody follicles out yourself. Coming are events that give great chances for you to fuck up your own life, and i will be sitting by the sidelines waiting in anticipation for you to trip while running, to fall when jumping, to end your dreams in one fell swoop.

As if it weren't enough another fool decided to come and weave the straw that broke the camels back. Oh yes you young boy, you who believes you are of a different level from the rest of us. You look with slitted eyes at the masses and consider yourself above us, you see your own achievements as greater than ours even if they are exactly the same. You move with the flow to suck up and leech off the best, just like a friend collector you move around with the same motives except that you are merely a better liar. Probably people have told you that you'd make a good politician and now i tell you that you will, just that by the end of the career half your ex-colleagues will have you in their blacklists for a painful end.

You undermine me and belittle me with impunity once i lost my usefulness, whatever it ever was, to you. You snobbishly believe you are utterly superior to me, you foolishly create misconceptions about me, filling in blanks about me with egoistical stories of your own creation to boost your own confidence. Such actions only show how pathetic your mind is and how easily it could be twisted towards self-destruction. You are another who would probably be here reading but unlike the above, you would probably brush this off, you would staunchly believe that stupid little daniel would always remain foolishly accepting of your petty insults and callous comments - you would arrogantly refuse to beilieve you aren't adored. I tell you now though, daniel isn't as clueless as he seems, he isn't the boy who stares with blind eyes at you. I know much more about you and anyone than you'd ever believe and in my knowledge i see how your transparent, simple little mind works.

Your dreams are malleable and easy to decimate. Your goals are simple to destroy. I look upon you with contempt and it will not be difficult to screw you over with merely words. Haiwei said "keep your words can be sharp but your actions blunt", oh my actions willl be blunt indeed, but only so i can cut you more before you lose hope and throw your life away.

Reading this people will probably think that i'm ranting, that i'm some kid with stupid ambitions and foolish ideas, honestly i don't give two fucks anymore. However I say now that i am deadly serious about fucking both their worthless lives up as best as i can, as long as i can.

Insensitive bastards are the people i hate most and like exhibits you two fit nicely into its two subcategories.

Also, the girls team lost to hwachong 2-1. The announcement of the results on monday will certainly be sad and up till now i'm not sure what we should've said to the girls team, how we should've reacted. But anyhow it was a good fight girls, you haven't lost your chance at the championship and most importantly, you have your friends whom you've played with for four going on six years, and that alone is worth more than any victory you can grab, so be thankful for it and play on.

So this sad event further dampened my mood to the point where agitation and irritation were practically spilling off me. I'm sorry david, james and whoever else, i was screwy and fucky and totally bastard, but its just a bad day and i'll be back to normal on monday.
At least the DOTA provided a small avenue of relief from the anger, but after it all ended all the rage, hatred, sorrow and pain rushed back like a massive hangover to make my heart scream with renewed vigour for vengeance and justice again.

I've simmered down after time and blogging, the ear-burning, fist-clenching rage has passed and all that i'm left with is bitter resolve.

actions aren't needed when your words cut deepest

for the team

Yesterday was cross country nationals and VJ guys got 3rd and girls got 1st overall. Notably the girls got most of the top nine positions (2,3,5,9 i think) maybe more and even more notably, the national second is a hockey girl, pretty impressive, huh.

As for the guys team, D'cruz got first and farrel third while zhuomin and ronghua got over 20 while nigel and jonathan were i dono where. I have no clue what happened to the 1, 3, 4, 8, 9 strategy they were preparing but i do not believe it was any of their faults, after all life is unpredictable and there are always forces working that we can never comprehend or understand.

A one day race where your whole life's training comes into play, a run for 15, 16 minutes. In such a sport i can imagine how regrets and mistakes can return again and again to haunt you, to rip at your soul for what you deem to have been in your grasp. But the future is never in your grasp and there always remains an opaque veil in front of you, denying you knowledge of things to happen up till the very last moment, when the hammer strikes without warning. The steeds of time will run on regardless of events and you can never reign them in, leaving you with your mistakes, your false assumptions, your misplaced faiths and all your regrets and sorrows.

So why stare on in dismay at clouds from galloping hooves, smothering you in confusion and helplessness, blinding you from those who care with the memories of a bitter past? Why chase the steeds that run forever faster than you, which can never be tamed? Look, but not in dismay but to learn and remember, chase but not to change history but to better make use of the future. Time is of the essence and our fragile lives balancing on the thread of existence is only meaningful when we look back from end of the line and can tell ourselves with satisfaction "that was well done".

The past is past and time will heal wounds, the pain of regret is unnecessary, the sorrows of the past need not be relived. We should choose to remember the smiles, reminisce about the joy, feel again the love and concern we had felt.

Do not look back with eyes of hollow gems, do not let your blood run dry and your heart beat weaker. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and what doesnt defeat you makes you smarter. Experience and enrich yourself for time is on your side in this.

live like tomorrow means everything

wrong

11407 =))

Today Victoria Junior College Softball guys team beat Hwa Chong Junior College 11 - 6. And i realise i'm very very much detached from the team now. Hanging out around the bench i realise that the people i was looking at, the people whom i had trained with before, they had changed, it wasn't hard to be uncomfortable in their midst. It was like there was a wall that grew somehow to drag me away from them. Next time, i think i'll sit in the stands.

This year we've got a strong team with experience and talent, with grit and determination, with the motivation and the reason to win, but we - no, they - don't look like a team. No offense/spite/whatever guys, but when i stand and watch, when i hear and listen it isn't a team i see, its just a body of people standing together with the same motive, the same goal - to take home the title. Despite their will and skill i feel they are lacking the most important thing, being a team.

In my view a team isn't just a bunch people who train together or who work for the same goal or who suffer together or who play together. Its a group of friends who know and understand each other, who feel for each other, who are comfortable no matter when with each other, who would sacrifice and share with each other. It is a group that transcends boundaries, you are not just friends, you are not merely buddies or besties, you are brothers and as close as blood, you would fight to your hardest and fullest and bleed just so you don't let them down. To win becomes a mere side effect, but to play together, that becomes the true reason for striving.

But when i look at them i see them split, i see them unsure and insecure of what they should do, what they should say, how they should say, if they should say. After victory there was no joy permeating throughout the team, instead it was like they'd finished the job and it was time to rest, no joy, no spirit. Even when they seat they seat apart, they discuss the match apart and comment apart as if they were afraid of each other listening. I had to drag the yeartwos over to join the yearones (and park) and even then they ended up just sitting around, unsure.

What happened when i disappeared for that short while? Maybe nothing, but evil prevailed when the good men did nothing.

Next week its Raffles Junior College, the team to beat, the benchmark for the title, the defending champions, the target for the team. Prepared or not the team must fight and strive to win to make their mark, to get that chance at the title, to make the gold after decades.

Good luck guys. I love you all.

impossible is nothing

global etiquette

There was a newsweek article this week on how global warming is not all bad, and may in fact lead to a time of major (positive) change of the human civilisation. They even managed to come up with a list of nations and businesses that would benefit, and some that would suffer, from global warming, other than the major contributors to greenhouse gases. (China's prospective 800 new plants and good ol' skeptical, kyoto-hating USA, to list some)

Even with (or even because of) the increase in temperature and water levels, there will be gainers in Singapore as well, along with the losers.

Winner number 1: Jack Neo, soon he'll break into international markets with new movies about global warming (something the world experiences) making singaporean lives worse, dragging the government and some ethnic races for that extra spice of local-ness. Also, the StarMex aircon will experience collosal popularity when singaporeans realise they need constant air conditioning against a hotter-but-still-as-mother-humid-as-ever weather.

Winner number 2: The flip-flop and singlet factories. With the rising temperatures more people will be inclined to chuck the shoes and shirts for the cooler, more ventilated comforts of singlets, shorts and flip flops. Some upscale boutiques with more-revealing-than-normal clothing may also find increases in sales.

Winner number 3: Schoolgirls with a preference towards shorter skirts. Now they've got a reason to air their legs! Wandering discipline-masters-cum-p.e.-teachers may be more understanding of their plight and be forgiving. Unless they're jealous.

Loser number 1: Schoolguys who like keeping long hair. Even if teachers don't care, keeping long hair in such temperatures wouldn't be too comfortable, unless you've got a portable aircon.

Loser number 2: Singaporean general public. Increased heat, with our humidity? Even touching stories of singaporeans enduring the sweltering heat while making a living won't be enough to lift spirits.

Loser number 3: Government. Now medical subsidies for drowning, heat stroke, skin cancer and sunburn will be higher. Also, previous efforts to reclaim land by dumbing soil in the sea have been undermined as rising sea levels reclaim it back. Government thus has to use more taxpayers money to pour more sand to get back Singapore's precious land.

Okay never mind i just happened to feel quite stupid today. Anyway i still think it is a selfish move by America to have rejected the Kyoto protocol, despite its arguments that developing countries like China and India were not included even though their emmisions by the end of 2012 would be 5 times more than the amount reduced by adhering to te protocol. While it may act as a way to force other nations to push the treaty to include all nations, every bit of reduction in emmisions would be a help to prevent a situation of a straw breaking the camels back-global catastrophe.

save yourself if noone else

artificiality

Watched A.I. yesterday, after years of wanting to watch but never having planted myself in front of the television when its showing, i finally caught the show. As a movie, it tended to give me feelings of sadness as the kid actor portrayed confusion, desperation and hopeless naivette convincingly enough to make me sympathize. Yet the ending seemed abit tacky, a little too sci-fi for my tastes despite showing the climatic end of david's deep yearning, but its stephen spielberg after all.

The show tells us that the discerning factor that makes david unique, a technological marvel in a time of human technological supremacy is that david loves, he dreams and pursues without stimuli or command. They call it the step towards true intelligence, the step towards humanity. However it is a step only, for humanity is more, we do not live on love alone, we hate, we despair, we contemplate, we philosophise, we theorize, we assume, we have no limits to our mental capactiy, no limits to the extent of imagination, no limits to behaviour other than the optional ones imposed by society.

With current technology of chips and silicon and wirings the capacity to create new pathways in logic and reasoning is severely limited, simply put, with the modern materials it is impossible to create a machine that "thinks" remotely similar to humans. They say love moves mountains and transcends oceans, that it can bring the moon down to kiss the earth and the valleys to touch the sun. Are these not creations from imagination? The ability to love pushes people to imagine, to create, contemplate and consider, it requires a level of awareness, a level of intelligence that is only reflected in the electrical synapses of nature's creations.

Without even having to question the existence of a soul i believe that artificial intelligence will never (with current developments) reach a point where it is comparable to that of humans, that it will never reach a point where it can advance itself through great efficiency. If all humans were to die off, leaving only such A.I. specimens behind, they would merely make production efficient, to make resources flow at optimum, cyclic levels that would ensure the continued survival of themselves, but would never advance. For without the simple ability to dream, to think of completely new ideas due to their own limitations they will eventually hit a brick wall.

In this way matrix is a perfect example if my point. The boss (or whatever) of the robots rotate between cycles of humanity, of multiple "the ones", all identical, living in identical worlds, continually repeating a struggle against the machines. The machines repeat a simple process of build, test, destroy and start-over again and again to obtain the most efficient, most rational outcome each time so as to"improve" itself. But it merely repeats and just as david asks the blue fairy to turn him into a real boy the process would continue until the world itself was drained dry and the machines stand as monuments, the only testament of their creator's genius.

Call me conceited, call me arrogant, but the simple human ability to dream is the reason why we are the conscious owners of the world now. And with the ability to dream comes the ability to turn away from darkness, and so we pursue our dreams recklessly, endangering ourself constantly with enviromental, social risks that we ignore. So dream and hope, for our dreams are the future, and hope is its mould, and they will either make or break us.

Now I'm off to bed, with dreams of tiberium wars and cataclysmic apocalypses.

hope is the dream of a waking man - aristotle

in between

Cutting my nails as i chew up another Dean Koontz novel, chew through dragons in monsterhunterpsp and chew on random tidbits that are gonna make me bigger.

Also got a random quiz thing to do at request of yh and jastine (as far as i know) and i gotta write supposedly 6 wierd things about me and 6 people i'd like to take the test. I'm hellava normal guy but oh well, here goes:

1) I am a serious direction idiot who cant find my way around my own neighbourhood.

2) When i buy stuff i'm either fucking serious or in a highly amused mood.

3) I don't like not knowing anything. If i know theres a secret i don't know i NEED to know whats that secret. Yea i'm a busybody.

4) I like tauhuay (soya bean curd thing) alot but i totally despise soya beans.

5) I cry only (or at least most of the time) when i'm damn pissed off at someone.

6) Once i start hiccuping, i can go on for days killing myself.

Okay that was hard, now i want these people to write wierd stuff about themselves:

1) James GUK
2) Vera
3) Jeremy KHONG
4) Althea
5) TimSoo
6) Wayne/Haiwei/Tortoise-Turtle-thing

Now go write and tell me, haha.

Just re-watched 300 with my bro, still makes me get goosebumps when i see the 40thousand greeks cheer and chiong. Also, had to explain lots of things to my brother, like why Xerxes seems like an oversized gay. If you didnt know, its apparently because he thinks hes a god and since god is well, sexless, he should have a sexual preference that is in the middle.

To that my brother asked: "Budden also got goddess all that what" so it was quite tiring trying to explain how certain religions believe in an imnipresent omnipotent omni-everything god that did not really have a gender, explaining that Jesus Christ isn't really god (to some branches) was quite difficult.

Which makes me wonder if all non-catholic/christian/buddhist/etc school students were like him, oblivious to the beliefs of religion. Having graduated from a catholic school and having gone through a course on religious education and even a bible studies session or two i had a childish notion that everyone else would have similar exposure to what i considered common sense. While not necessary, i found that it might not be socially adequate if the population had many youths that are not understanding of religions. Just like how we are multi-racial we obviously also multi-beliefs and without religious harmony it is hard to have racial harmony for they are overlapping and closely related.

So why stick to just the propoganda-filled, nation-glorifying hao-gong-ming (good citizen) and social studies? Why not introduce religious education so that every youth, believer or not, can understand why some of their friends talk to themselves before meals, why some others disappear on friday afternoons, why some wear amulets and pendents and crosses. The effects may not be apparent or quantifiable but they certainly will serve to let friends bond closer and communities more understanding of each other. So all of you oblivious kids out there, go learn about a religion you know nothing more about then its name, go ask your friends, go read a book, surf wikipedia, enrich yourselves, and be open about it.

I want Command and Conquer: Tiberium wars. And a good router. Grrrrr busy busy busy

the grass is always greener on the other side

Thought about this a while back while reading about the ongoing argument over the paycheck of ministers in Singapore. The Minister Mentor said that high pay was so as to lure people from the private sector who were drawing large salaries away into the public sector to benefit Singapore with a salary that is somewhat comparable (he noted they still do make losses) I doubt my post will have a political stand given my political apathy as a Singaporean youth, it should just be about that little line that is the title of this post.

The grass is greener on the other side, but more often than not, its cause you've been eating away at the grass on your side. It isn't because of any psychological reasons or cause of influence or rumors or defect in vision but simply because this side has you, and the other side doesnt. I'm not saying that when you consider making a change, you've been leeching off your current position, but simply that the forces that give you the impulse to move on were created from the drain in pleasure you derive from the side you're on.

In this way, why would people move from the private sector into the public sector when the pay is higher in the former? It is necessary to consider that the world doesnt revolve totally around money and that people have other needs- fame, conscience, popularity, sex, just to name a few. These people may have moved because they felt that the extra publicity, the extra impact on the world that they can make, the extra number of years that they will be remembered is worth the couple million that they lose. After all given the economic rule of falling marginal utility (or whatever) when you've already got alot of money, what more pleasure can a couple million give? Another car? Another house? You can't be in two places at the same time.

Lets say they want fame, then they've felt they can't get much more popular than they already are being, lets say, a doctor. After all how famous can you get, being a totally splendid doctor? What, the whole of Toa Payoh knows you? With a few Ang Mohs who know your name? That doesn't really compare to having millions read about you visiting their country whenever you make a housecall to your pal the minister of wherever.

Now lets say its sex you want. (i'm speaking here from a male point of view) How many chicks do you thin you can lay being a lawyer? Lets say you screw the vulnerable, attractive ones that ought to exist somewhere in your workplace. Then think of the rest of the people you meet in your job, they usually tend to be either sternly professional and clean (colleagues) or psychotic (clients) Then think about being a political bigwig, like say...Bill Clinton. You get the thrill of making out with interns (young and eager) and whoever else comes your way and theres even the extra spice from the risk of getting caught rolling around the meeting room. Truly exciting for those high libido fellows.

Theres a limit to the pleasures/benefits you can derive from any place and in different amounts for different aspects so theres always someplace else that offers more in one way or another for something you've already maximised given your limits. There is no such thing as a perfect pasture where the green-ness of the grass is perfect in all ways, so its up to each of us to find that pasture that gives us just the right touch of our needs, the ability to sate as many of our desires as possible. So go ahead, job-hop, look out for better schools, look out for better friends, try a new eating place, a new clinic, brothel, whatever.

Just remember:

you can never get the best of all worlds.

unexpected

Well, its only been a week and yet here i am!

The operation was way different from my initial expectations, for example lying on a moving trolley in some corridor while people come along and poke and prod and ask questions wasn't exactly what i had expected. The effects of GA were also rather shocking. Initially i expected that being asleep while a doctor cutes open your eye would be great, but when i woke up, the first thing i knew was being gagged by pipes they had put down my throat, leaving me with a rather sore and dry throat for the next few hours. The lethargy after the GA was horrible too, imagine having 10kg weights on all of your joints, its that disgusting. Also the crystal clear near vision i expected didnt happen. Now i need bifocals, bleh.

Yesterdays checkup was quite traumatising, after all my vision wasn't as amazing as my left (real) eye's and i was getting a bad feeling that perhaps i didnt take care of myself properly. That was further compounded as the doctor proceeded to take an extra long check of my eyes, keeping silent and looking quite shocked/worried/confused. Not too encouraging body language but thankfully it was because my recovery was superb and he said that if i wanted to, i could go back today, just that i had to be careful of the stitch. That shocked me since i suddenly found out that i had been going on for a week with a stitch on my cornea, wonderful.

But its cool cause since everythings alright, im a happy boy going back to school on monday!

As for how i'm typing this when i'm living in the strict supervision of my godmother, well lets just say i somehow cracked her computers password while shes out in yoga class =D

So here i am, occupying my time with randomness to fend away the boredom of eating the same meal for lunch and dinner, everyday for a week while having nothing to do but watch chinese drama serials and stoning.

I read a couple of blogs too, and as jastine says, theres still a void that only softball and training can fill. But i'm not going to get emo or anything, that chapters passed, seasons coming soon and while life certainly remains unclear its obvious there won't be much of softball in it. Which leaves me stumped at how i'll be spending my time.

At least theres musicfest and dragonforce to look forward to, and perhaps more free time for previously neglected friends.

Somehow i've got the urge to take a political potshot at a certain someone. Yuanhong did it, but we have different victims due to our slightly different chain of experiences.

Its rare to meet a person who feels that the world is his playground when the apprehension from the othr children around him is so apparent. Its rare to see a wannabe socialite who has been able to continue even though he only has one approach to conversation starters (and that looks like it was fished from some book). Yet i met one a while back, and for a long while his existence was of a nameless stranger who kept forcing his way into my life though there seemed no reason for it.

Though it is strikingly obvious what his motives are, we find it hard to reject him the first time, after all we are young and eager to please and we do not know yet what influences he wields. However, as time passes we and the people around us see him for what he is, yet some cannot from the purity of their heart, while others refuse to from their staunch belief in the good of humanity. And yet you shamelessly wrench the souls of these people and put them to your uses as your second face and from there you hope to spread your influence.

Yet how many in our time and age are so malleable? So you move to the ethereal, the un-opiniated facts and gossips and wield them as your sword when your spear has broken. Few people know what it means to be truly looked down upon, where the reason for contempt is not standing or riches or power but the soul, the mind. You don't for in the glittering world you have conjured for yourself with your "friends" and "reputation" you blind yourself to the disapproving head-shaking of the world.

All you do is associate, to use the shallowest of facts to establish links, to make "bonds" so you can clamp on like a parasite to leech off the popularity and fame of others. Perhaps you do not see but eventually all you are doing is living a life of association where nobody knows you, where you do not know anyone and where noone really cares. Do you not see how people who understand your motives shy away from conversation? How they keep answers brief and contact scarce? Do you see you are failing and your grasping at the drapes fame has only left you tearing them down into infamy?

We see, we know, we are disgusted and we snigger and comment and we deign to tell you. We watch you fall and we watch you wallow. We laugh.

and you continue amusing