the real first day has yet to pass

Which is quite literally so. Today was writing of more articles to test for proficiency and style. Personally i feel thats not required, all it takes is one essay to see the depth of a writer. So this all feels like a waste of time (or rather like they're using us, since whoever isn't writer leaves the department for some admin job thing)

And about that admin job thing, i'd really rather not do that, so that makes me want this position as writer, though things aren't looking so good, given my background as a science student (the bosses go "uh..u take science?") and give the questions they are asking me, it doesn't sound like they are very keen on me as a writer.

Though honestly, i think i seem very much more like an open guy than joel since hes like super softspoken. But he looks like a nice boy so we never know.

This is a situation of i want but i don't.

I really need to learn to make up my mind.

The first day of work

It began in CMPB, where i initially thought i was posted. Turns out it was merely the place where they briefed us on where we would be going and how. Honestly i didn't see the point since we did not do anything "special" and nothing changed by us going to CMPB.

Thus i happily thought "yes sembawang airbase~" Until they told me i'd be in MINDEF, which location was a mystery to me, till they said "bukit gombak". So i'm stuck with a place that takes 1hour+ to get to.

At least i'm in publications, which is supposedly not as hiong as other departments. Had to write an essay too, to "fight" with joel for writer post, though neither of us seem to be too sure of whether we want it, or what its actually about in the first place.

As i can't really say more, i'll talk about travelling time. It seems that every different institution i rise to requires twice as much travel time as before. To chongfu, 10+mins. To SJI, 20+mins. To VJC, 45mins. To MINDEF, 1hour 20mins+ Luckily theres nowhere in Singapore that i'd take 3hours to get to, or i'm screwed for uni.

But thinking back to old times really brings tears to my eyes. While searching for GP essays and stuff to bring tomorrow (zz) i began thinking of the times i'd spent in VJ, and in SJI before that. The things i'd done and would never get to do again. The people i'd met and may never meet again. The things i'd done with people i'd met that i'd never experience again. In an instant of hindsight i'd felt so much nostalgia for the past that i'd tear.

But time can't turn back.

But i can't help it.

But thats the way the world.

But i miss..

i miss the times before.

Eagle vs Shark.

Another movie, which judging by its name and the category it was listed under - comedy (when i first saw it) - seemed quite like the typical nonsensical, slapstick american show.

The movie began quite lamely, though with some british accent. As i progressed through the movie i began wondering if the movie sucked, or if it was categorized wrongly. I even suspected it might be some person's sick idea of humor as i began feeling for the main characters - the eagle and the shark (symbolically, their favourite animals)

It takes into play situations I find myself highly skeptical of as the characters display their pathetic social graces, their almost childish-nerdish ways. Their awkward social graces and quiet (and remarkably saddening) acceptance of who and what they are is certainly discomforting as a reminder to such "disabilities".

The show is about 2 social misfits, one a kind soul sadly trudging through life and the other a man in denial searching for acceptance and self-value. The characters are well played and they draw you into their world, a world you might not be familiar with, a world where society doesn't match with you.

It does not overplay on specific traits of the characters like many shows, (and mediacorp channel 8 dramas) which makes the characters unbelievable. Instead it acts upon what a person of that personality might do and that in itself can be a reason for tears.

An excerpt:
Eagle: wanna kiss?
Shark: yea
Eagle: wanna lay down?
Shark: yea
Eagle: wanna have sex?
Shark: yea
Then eagle tries to put on a condom, failing once, before adopting missionary.

This sounds like shes a slut jumping into bed, but when you watch it in context you feel sorry - for both of them.

Love comes in all forms.

children of men

Which is a movie, in case you didn't google to find out.

To use the description of the streaming site i used, "In 2027, in a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea, where her child's birth may help scientists save the future of humankind.", which is pretty much all there is to it.

There is no great twist or plan or wondrous mystery. They do not try to impress you with scientific facts and theories and ideas - it is not Matrix or Star Wars. Yet it feels like a theatrical masterpiece that blows you away with simple acting, lighting and a brilliant soundtrack.

The show brings out emotions that you don't usually grasp, that rarely finds reason to arise. It asks you what would happen if the world suddenly had to children, the cry of a baby, the nurturing of the young. How would the hearts of humanity harden without the softening warmth of a childs plump fist?

The world falls to chaos in a prolonged armageddon. For centuries people imagined plague and meteor storms that would wipe us out in days, not a hopeless, inevitable extinction. The dread that when you die you have left no heirs, that noone else has left heirs and that in a few decades all that would be left to tell that we were here are finger worn walls and smog. Who would have imagined.

Anyhow thats it for the post-movie shock. National Service looms, where i shall prepare to fix my body haha.

happy new year people

And xf and mark decided to come over.

Had duck and charsiew (at marks singular request) to go with the Bailey's.

Got utterly thrashed at winnning 11 by a redfaced mark, before he succumbed to alcohol and fell asleep..much like a baby =)

Then i watched 200poundbeauty with the self proclaimed korean god xf (who was entertaining himself with bleach, remaining sober) and we had to endure SOMEONES rather large snoring throughout much of the movie, though it was amusing at times.

I'd upload a video, but i still haven't figured out how to make the .3gp thing into avi files..

So now its time to sleep, since i finished most of the bottle of Baileys, no thanks to mark. haha.