to be the last one who will sing you to sleep

It seems i have been overworking myself, if people tell me I've been looking worse and worse everyday, even as I keep my cheerful side on. Maybe its because of the morning duties, or maybe its because I'm juggling between two dissimilar jobs, with highly dissimilar bosses. Or maybe its because while I'm under this workload, i know that in the coming 3 or 4 months more from each side will inevitably pile up on me as NDP and the deadline for publication approaches.


And it really does annoy me that there are people who have nothing to do who stay back to look on and who keep looking all-so-stressed so that people praise their diligence and commitment and passion. And i say crap. And the world isn't fair of course, and i could easily play that game. And it would be a simple thing, a simple act that would have been expected by the arrogance of the "nurturers".

But i won't. To give in to inefficiency and become part of a beautifully decorated mess of scrap is not "developmental" to me. Honestly, looking at half of what i am doing now, i can only come to the conclusion that even if i were at home stoning, it would have been more productive to society than what i am doing.

I think i sound illogical, or childish, at least. Signs of degeneration, already?