i don't like cny.

For multiple reasons.

The usual ones are too personal and dangerous to put.

But recently a new one surfaced. 6th Feb happens to be the day my eye died. Even after a year, thinking about that feeling, the weeks of dread, the months of regret, wrenches at me. And everyday that i report to MINDEF is a reminder of how my life has changed, and will remain changed.

Quite possibly the only thing that i like about new year is the supplement to my "income", though it seems my luck is running out and gambling is starting to bring me losses. Not a good sign given how IR is coming.

Somehow this years new year is just a dread, a painful fortnight i wish would pass along with my birthday, which never turns out nice.

I don't feel good.