worn like an ol' bowling shoe

Read somewhere that I'm supposed to be on a 42-hour/5-day work week.

Well sometimes I work saturdays, but thats fine.

Well sometimes I overtime without off, probably thats ok.

But working close to 60 hours (maybe more) a week instead of the stipulated 42 without off or repayment or appreciation really does suck.

Ok lor, all the combat fit people will bitch that they stay in and they chiongsua and all that. What time they sleep ah? Eh, sorry when I sms them while I'm still working they already asleep le, and when I sms them when I leave house sometimes they still sleeping. Ok lor, they do alot of exercise and run around. But combat fit what, run around only will die meh? If going to die just fall out, people also cannot say anything, after all you muscle cramp or hyperventilating people cannot tell meh? But whats the guideline or reference to determine if a person "has not been able to finish his work and so must OT without off" in an office? Whos to say that the victim isn't given a whole lot of shit and so obviously cannot finish in the stipulated 8 hours.

Some people say easy what, file file only. Ok lor, file 1000 files easy what, but very fast meh? Road sweeper job also easy mah, sweep sweep only, but you think they sweep your block 15 minutes can liao ah?

Of course, some people take advantage of that mah. After all we can't quit from NS, so overworked also bobian. After all we not Someone's son, so ask superior will get more than a scolding laced with praise, and will get shot down and arrowed more - after all, as above mentioned, there is no guideline to how much is considered a reasonable amount of work that can be completed in a "day's work"

Sian I'm just ranting.

I just want to run away.

Just a little more.

bitch

Just got back from publisher - yes, just. Check the time of post, it says 1am. If you ask why, lets just say we left office to head to the publisher at 7+p.m., so as to rush out a draft - even though shes on leave the next day (so WTF is the draft for? we work till 1 for fuck if she isn't even going to be there?).

Stupid bitch decided that one un-updated page (because I didnt have the soft-copy - and I Did explain myself on that) and she decided to say "how can you give me such work? So many un-updated stuff! Are you simply incompetent?". After looking through, we found that that was the only problem attributable to me. The whole thing is just so retarded that it doesn't even piss me off, since she hardly knows fuck about what we do, yet always ends up asking us to do things that are completely stupid (in the sense, that they don't even make sense) since she doesn't know anything. As many (military, i guess) leaders have said, to lead your men you need to know what they do and how well they do it. She already fails horribly in the first part, so lets not bother going to the second.

Thats actually fine with me, to some extent. There will always be incompetent, unreasonable and arrogant people in the world, who don't get that they are all of the above, and i'm pretty understanding.


But when she starts making fucked up comments because she is, let me quote someone, "bored", is well, fucked up.

Her (shouting from cubicle): "Guys, what size are your NDP shirts?"
'Someone': "L..?"
Someone2: "uh..L."
Me, obviously bigger than the two skinny someones: "ahhh....XL..?"
Her: "Why XL? Why so big?"
Me, thinking "WTF?": "Because...I'm bigger than them? So I should be wearing a larger size just in case. And thats the size they gave me.."
Her: "Can you give me a Damn Good Reason* why you must wear that size?! 'Someone', why must you wear L?? You Sure* or not huh? Why so big?"
Me: "............."

*The italics and bolds are indications of where she emphasized the word, or said it sharply.

Its quite screwed up. Asking why someone wears the size they wear is like asking someone "Why are you Male/Female?". For someone who keeps preaching and acting like a great christian, she obviously doesn't understand the bible. The same way she misinterprets all her "inspirational" posters, creating counter-productive work processes.

DXOs should go through OCS, or at least BMT, or they may end up like this - retarded.

aor

Just got back from publisher, after a day of filling in stuff, shifting stuff, typing stuff and generally just doing stuff that I thought would have been the publisher's job. After all the way things are working out its like they are only providing the computer, the program and the printer to us, with the occasional technical support (like "uh..how i make box ah?"), while we do the rest of the work.

True, they do design work for us too, but somehow I feel it has been getting slipshod and that mal or even myself could probably do a better job. But I shan't be too judging, perhaps the slide is because we asked them for "ideas".

On the other hand, regarding "field" business, I'm starting to get hit by deja vu out everytime I meet Pioneed/ArmyNews (lets forget Navy for a moment..) at both small and large scale events. Since each time I appear alone the media rep will ask "from air force you only ah?", then I will turn and see PNR and Army's team of 2/3 (1 writer, the others photog). Recently, this is usually followed by a "you again?" since I've been "mobilized" practically every day this month.

Thats fine actually, since we can usually handle photo-coverage and interviews alone, though it makes it a rush and we can't cover some angles. However each time I notice that they're all decked out with D3s/1D3s...each I just feel that we're deprived. The D300 is a good piece of equipment, however when someone takes it the other two will be left with the ol' trusty D70S. Which really just pales in comparison to the D300, and of course the fleet of D3s PNR owns (2 for each photog? wtf?).

In conclusion I really think we should start writing aors (approval of requirement..) so as to acquire at least 2 more D300s (if not D3s. which Army informs me is now just 1k more than a D300 - 2 tiers of improvements!). But given how perpetually maxed out we are, thats not going to happen in a while, till someone disappears for a week or so I suppose. Of course, given how air force is "above all" and able to do more with less, we'd have to really make the clear our need and our pretty pathetic state.


NDP on sat. Go on platform need long pants..ZZ

Perfection

Me.
.
We.
.
Us.
.
These are my hands.
These are my feet.
This is my face.
This is wind, and those are trees.
This is a river, and there are its branches.

There lies the flesh that formed me.
And He is all around, the former, the Creator, The Lord.

"Who am I?
"You are woman, made for Adam."
"But who am I?"
"That is for you to prove, and for him to decide."

So I look upon the flesh from where I came.
The rumpled form.
The form of opposition.
Who growled even in sleep.
And I knelt and waited, with clay on one side and sculptor the other.

Wait I did. For it seemed eternity before he stirred. Yet I waited.

"Who are you?" The man asked.
"I am woman, made of you for you."
"Then you shall be Eve, for what there is to come."
"Yes." And there was a twinkle in his eye I could not fathom.

We lay together.

And he taught me of the trees and the Tree of Knowledge and His word. And I obeyed.

And we spent forever in the Garden, where we ate and lay and slept beneath the stars and sky.

I walk amongst eternal trees, for my picking, for my consumption.
"Not all seem to be for you, I wonder why..."
"Who is that?" For it came from without, from afar.
"I am but a friend..."
"Friend." I echoed.
"Why do you not eat from the Tree of Knowledge?"
"For we would die." Remembering the words of Adam.
"You would not, for what fruit kills the one whom eats it?" The Serpent reared its head at me and hissed.

That was truth, for all the fruits I ate had not killed me yet.

"Take it, do not fear..."
The maker was benevolent, surely he would not create only to have us die?
So from the tree I took an apple.
And the serpent hissed happily.

And I brought it to Adam.

I told him of what I thought.

And he agreed.

So we ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil amongst the trees of the Garden of Eden.

And we knew our wrongs. And Guilt. And Shame. And we had to make aprons to hide our nudity.

And suddenly Paradise held the Creator, even as reality shed itself.

And we had Sinned.

Genesis

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.
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.
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-mm-
.
.
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-we-
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-mi-
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.
.
-me.)


(me?)

(Me.)

(Myself.)


(I.)

(I see dust roiling. Cone. Circle. Twirling.)

(I see a face. But what is face?)

(I see shoulders. But how do I know that?)

(I see hands. They reach out and poi-)

I rush for air and breath.
I breathed?
I am alone.
I am warm. I have form.
I can feel the grains beneath my feet.
I can feel the wind in my hair, my eyes, my lungs.
I feel warmth where I felt nothing, pain where I knew none.
"I can speak"
"I can see the green on wood and a rushing blue that parts in four about me"
And sparks leap as I point. Why am I pointing?

And as my arm falls to rest I fall to my knees,
for He whom I was and whom I am was here.
He whom had been, then and before and after.

And from within and without, "Rise"
So I did.

"This is Delight"
I know the words and I know not how.
I yearn to ask what.
But I dare not question.
I Nod.

"From every tree here you may freely eat"
I Acknowledge.
"But no matter how much -it- tempts you to, you will not eat from the Tree whose fruit knows Good and Evil, for when you do, you will surely die."
I Obey.

"You do not ask why."
I do not need to. -I tremble-

"Do not fear me."
I do not. -I fall to my knees-

"I am your creator."
Yes. -I flounder at the memory-

"I will not harm you."
I know. -as my heart pounds.-

"So speak."
"Yes." - And tears rolled down my eyes.-

"But to whom shalt you speak-"
You!
"for it is not good to be alone-"
You are here!
"and so we shall find you a companion and aide-"
You are all!
"from every beast of the field and every fowl of the air."
I do not need them!

Yet they came.

In their hundreds and thousands, they came.
They stood before me in adoration.
In obesience .

"They can stay with you-"
I am greater than them!-
"so you shall have to know them and name them-"
I want to only be with You!
"for I wish it."
"Yes." -though I meant no-

And so I named them, In His silent watch and glorious light I named every creature. And though the sun may have had chased the moon endlessly I would not know. His presence meant all. His will was mine. And I ached to finish so He would speak again.

Even as I finished, I see they are inferior. They do not speak. They do not think. They stare dumbly at me. They are-

"Not suitable-"
His Voice! The Bliss!
"to satisfy one in my image."
Your image!
"We will have to do this another way."
Yes! Stay with me! My Lord! My Creator! Mine!

"So we will form another like you."
I did not want that.
"Like you, but not like you, so as to complete you."
With you I am complete!

"And so I give you Lilith."

And there she stood from dust. And I wanted. And I even forgot Him though I stood in His light. And then He faded and though I yearned Him, I for now yearned the flesh more.

"You will lie with me." I said.
"No, you will lie with me."
"I shall be above, an-"
"No, I will not lie below."

"I will not lie below you! I who was before am the superior one and you are fit only to be in the bottom position!" Her audacity to presume otherwise!
"I am of dust as you were, we are equal."
"No! You ar-"
"Then I shall leave."

And she flew away in spite and fury and hate. And I was alone again.

"Creator! The woman you made has left me!" As I weeped from anger and shame and pity.

"So I shall bring my angels to return her to your side-"
But now you are back, I need her not!
"and if she would then all is well."
"yes." Though I wished she wouldn't.
"And if she would not, she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day"
Children?

"But still, you are alone again."
You are still here!
"So one more loyal you shall have."
I am loyal to you!
"Who will come from you as you came from dust-"
Please..No..
"and who will know you and all you know not of yourself."
You know me!
"From your side she will come and there she shall remain."
You are at my side! I want to be alone with you! Please!
"You will have to sleep-"
Please! I want to be alone with you!
"and from your rib I shall fashion her-"
NO! Please!
"and you shall name her-"
N-!
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"As I named you Adam."
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talking to myself

I feel like i've become stupid.

It feels so long since the last really intellectual conversation or discussion. Recently it seems that all the conversations I am involved in are just jokes and nonsense and chit-chat.

All contemplation is done introspectively, which is fine till i reach a point where the thought just runs in loops where you already know the answer to the question, and the question that follows the answer.

Its like squatting and scribbling at the corner of a room.

Last day in Shanghai

I woke, Really woke, at 12 today. So after a lunch which boasted cheap and good pigeons and an amazing cold asparagus dish, we went to the local wet market to buy the amazing Chinese asparagus that made the latter dish so good (hopefully). We also got ourselves some Chinese garlic, which is really good and mild in taste, unlike the ones you find in Singapore which are just plain pungent. Along the way, we also passed some roadside stalls selling a variety of live seafood from a series of wide red buckets arranged along the curb. Below is a picture for visual reference, though the interesting bullfrogs, eels and baby lobsters are sadly, missing.


After shopping for tidbits for office and home, we passed a suave new establishment called the "Spartan Club". Which brings to mind either a place with as little of everything as possible, or a place where everyone is packaged with 8 pecs and bulging biceps..and spears. Which is a bad joke. But I took a picture anyway, just for the fun of it.



With the Beijing Olympics coming, there are signs and banners sporting the words "Welcome to Beijing" sprouting everywhere. While i can really understand their excitement, with Singapore hosting the Youth Olympics (actually, no, I Can't), it really tempts me to just go up to someone on the street and go "But its Shanghai?!". Again, as it is a camera phone, there is a lot of noise in the photo.


This was taken after a nice dinner at a place where everyone could get personal steamboats and large servings of beef and mutton typical of Chinese joints. If sir nick (twelfth night) were right about eaters of beef, then going to Shanghai would really be harmful to my brain. And right after I took this picture, my dad and I went to get ourselves a good massage (though the first 2 places we tried were fully booked) at a classy place which also had a menu serving food from their restaurant kitchen and a menu complete with over 30 types of coffee. Which showed me a little more about Shanghai nightlife since i learnt that their saloons typically have a closing time of 11pm (and they aren't deserted), while upscale massage centres like the one we patronised typically opened to 2 or 3am. So even though the streets are empty (attributable to the cost-saving campaign which meant most street lights are turned off, making the city seem deserted and pretty unattractive for night-time walks) the night belongs to the well-off citizens looking to pamper themselves.

And as with most services in China, even though they are upscale, they are still much cheaper compared to comparable services in Singapore. A full body + foot massage, for 2 costs less than 300 RMB (60 sing), where in Singapore an average massage for one would be enough to set you back that much.

Will be back later today at 3pm or so, 12hrs from now! Baileeeeeys!

shangai d7

Went to 朱家角 town today, a watertown located in a suburb of shanghai that is actually a wonderful place to visit on a summer weekday. Mainly because it is not amazingly crowded like most places are in winter and thus, the scammers and predators do not show in full strength. Over the time we spent wandering around the town, we were only harangued twice and the first time was a nice old lady who didn't hound us or try to make weird deals. There were very interesting sculptures made of wood, which i took with the camera phone thats left lying here (thus the heavy noise).

On the left we have an intricate sculpture called "The Thinker", made of bamboo.





















On the right we have a giant Buddha statue carved out of wood from a tree over a thousand years old. Called the Matreiya - Camphor Wood, it is the biggest such carving in the world and since it was pretty cheap I jumped in to take the chance to hang a plaque in his hand.






There was also this amazing S$8,000 sculpture of a peacock, made from a lychee tree's roots, which my father actually expressed interest in.







This is a sculpture of the silk road, spanning the wall of the entire room and weighing a full 10 tonnes. It was an exquisite piece and, having the room fully to ourselves, it was wonderful since i could take my time to examine and appreciate the piece.








We had the wonderful 188yuan Japanese buffet again, where the food, though free-flow, is much much better than Sushitei. In fact, its along the standards of Kuriya etc. When you ask them for sushi when you're at a table of four, they serve you as in the picture on the left, not in tiny morsels. And the service is great, since the staff are always polite and instead of leaving the plates there to make you feel guilty or full, they help you clear your plates as soon as you are done with the dish (you don't even have to finish it). Helps too that the restaurant happens to be a place my father and his colleagues frequently entertain guests at, so the boss gave us a few secret menu items customers don't normally get to order.




They also served what is probably the best warm sake I've had. In general it beats practically every other alcohol I've ever had, with the exception of Baileys. Wanted to bring some back, but taxes and all that other stuff proved to be enough of a hassle to keep me from bringing it back.

Also, after this post I realised that even though I visited a water town today, I don't actually have any pictures of the water. I guess all those pictures I took in Hangzhou made the whole "water, wow, sweet, beautiful, calming" thing seem watered down in 朱家角. Like in the picture below, taken last December in Hangzhou.