Wednesday, February 28, 2007

red earth

"The colour comes from all the blood thats been spilled fighting over the land"

"Do you know where the word infant-try comes from? It means Child Soldier..."

Sometimes, we forget the world is more than just our family, our friends, our associates, the famous faces and places we know. Sometimes it takes something close to home, close to heart, to remember that we are not alone. The world is bigger than just the comfortable landscapes and buildings and movies and cars that lucky people like us indulge in everyday.

The third ambulance for the year arrived yesterday. It seems incidents are getting more serious with every one that comes. Today we find out that its already the "limit". I did not personally know the girl, i had never really seen her, or spoken to her, i knew not of her existence till it ended. But i do know that some people know her, some have spoken to her, people who care and grieve and mourn and rack their brains for an explanation of how and why. I know they exist and through them she exists. This blog post will be dedicated to her. Her and all the children growing up in war torn affrays, screaming in chaos all their life.

Its shocking how fragile life is. Passing through life in our modern society, being used to the idea, the "evidence" all around us that the end comes for the aged, the sick, the less privileged, the suicidal, the druggies, alcoholics and smokers, the others. Never us, never the young and healthy, normal schoolkids. This comes as a brutal reminder that fate is cruel and needs no logic, no reason to tear itself away from us.

We always hear "think of the children in Africa" when we waste anything. Ours parent, our elders grew up being told that by their elders who were told it by their elders and so forth, and they now tell it to us. It is a simple testament to the complicated, endless, cruel chaos that seems to be the culture of this place we call "the cradle of humanity". Yet it is a cesspool of conflicts and corruption. They say humans are inherently evil, perhaps this explains that view. After all, there are so many other places mired in anarchy, unrest, mindless violence, psychotic violence, calculated violence. Violence violence violence, its like its in our genes to fight over everything. Its so common that untouched people like us tend to forget how bad the suffering can be, how dirty and intense and unfair the torment can get. Let us remember these chldren, these victims, as we continue our daily lives. Watching blood diamond, remembering the events of yesterday and the news delivered today, i will remember. Those people who say we are inherently evil also say that it is God and our actions that makes us good. God is omnipresent so we are not hopeless, damned souls, all we need is some actions to prove it.

Yesterday a soul left our school. It is sudden, unexpected, unbelievable. I never knew the girl, now I'll never know her. We cherish those around us and so cannot complaecently pass our days believing such crap will never happen to us because it just did. Not directly but in some way a death will certainly affect us in ways we can't immediately realise. Perhaps someone with completely zero link to her is crying in the toilet now. Perhaps someone like that has just made a life changing decision because of her. No matter how distanced we are, passing away is no trivial matter. After all, it involves a life just like ours.

This short post took almost 2 hours of my time as i struggled to consolidate my thoughts. I guess i had been evading the matter up till now and had deigned to dwell upon such depressing matters. After all, our minds tend to look to the light. Now i still feel uneasy as my own problems shrink to minisculity in comparison and yet i hear them screaming out to me their significance in my life, in my future. Whats done is done, whats past is past. I should accept we can do is to honour the memory of those past and move on.


To the family, friends and acquaintances of the girl, i am truly sorry for the loss of her and while no amount of anything can make up for the loss of a life, be comforted to know that she will be remembered and loved and missed for a long long time to come.

May her soul rest in peace in heaven.


immortality in memories

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