cold lines

It feels like a dream. I'm just waiting for time to pass by as i wait for life to live itself, for the inevitable to happen and the unpredictable to manifest. Destiny should be grasped and twisted with my own hands, yet i sit here watching the threads float past.

I fear the possibilities of the future yet know they'll arrive. As anxious as my heart is my mind feels no panic, no reason to despair. Perhaps a wall will be there, and as i watch them, and they me, we don't see it. Life continues almost the same yet the wall remains, we talk, we laugh, we chat, we play, yet it remains different, yet i won't stand behind that line but wait outside.

Can i break through? Can i push through or will i be knocked back by those there? Will there be pretty flowers and friendly gestures or will it be a scuffle of knives and blades? Ambiguity is never friendly to my mind, uncertain thoughts and unknown opinions will always trouble me.

i am troubled. i am confused. i am worried and i am tired.

damn it